Second string

So, I don’t know what to do. I haven’t visited this site in a while. And I am not going to start writing about a medical topic. Not directly at least. But I am needing to write.

Here we are in the middle early stages of a pandemic, and I am still working. I have asked several times to be made nonessential, but it isn’t going to happen. We have cancelled most appointments, doing most by telemedicine or phone.

Basically we are now spending our days not doing anything. Or maybe I am, but not nearly what pace I am used to doing. But mostly feel like I am doing nothing. Sure, I have seen a few that might have the virus. None of mine have tested positive, but I wasn’t able to test them all either. The reality is, we are being kept safe for when the bottom falls out of the bottom. Then they have their second string, sitting and waiting, and free to be brought in. And that might be what is the most frightening. While others will be recovering or the virus is continuing to mutate, that is when I will be exposed. And I am high risk

Apparently that is all I am going to say about that. I can’t find peace in my normal peace finding things. I can’t find peace in exercise. I can only go 2 miles. I can’t read. There is no peace in doing that. And so I am here, doing what I am told

Nothing more, nothing less